mixed feeling

Hai blog.
Counting days for my wedding.
Something bothering me.
Baba.
Recently,his forgetfulness become more obvious.
Lastweek,he forgot where he put his atm card.
He thinks maybe he left at the atm machine.
Today,he left the bag which contain the invitation card at my aunt's house.
Yes,i know.baba's brain is shrinking,thats what doctor said.
May allah protect him.

Wedding.
No comment.
May this marriage bring me closer to HIM.
May my love for HIM is more than anyone else
More than anything.

the roller coaster

in the theme park
while watching the roller coaster
it goes up and down
people screaming here and there

it shows something to me
our life is like the roller coaster
sometimes we're on top
people adore us
we become so proud of ourselves
we feel so good

and at that time
we start to have a big gap with our creator
we forgot
we seldom remember Him

because of His love.
His mercy
now,we're in calamity
we're desperately need help from Him
we getting closer to Him
Our creator never leaves us alone
we're the one who running away from Him



Allah has mentioned in the Quran, Surah Al-Insyirah:
“Verily, with hardship, there is relief  (94:6)”

its dunya

IF 

status 

 power

money

beauty

intelligence

 will make me away from you Allah

i'll choose to be an ordinary women in this dunya

its better no one knows me

rather than arrogance consume me

please buy this book

 thank you Allah for invited me for this two awesome event.

you never leave me

im the one who run away from you

He made me to went there

it feels like, 

now here the guidance,the nur for you

 يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي على دينك

Wahai Dzat yang membolak-balikkan hati, tetapkanlah hatiku atas agama-Mu"

p/s : just bought the book reclaim your heart by sister yasmin mogahed, really touch my heart.

hurry up,go and grab it

you can also give to your parents,family and friends as a present.

it teach us how to live freely by being a slave to ALLAH.

Masya Allah.

Envy

Envy
Jealousy
There're negative words
but
it can lead to positive manner
IF
the intention is sincere and clean.

For instance,
I get envy and jealous with
those who have strong iman
great taqwa
they can beat the syaitan most of the time

I knew if i ask them
they'll say, we're not perfect
our iman can be up and down like the roller coster

I conclude that
to be like them,only Allah in their heart
Allah comes first
It's not easy to do,but easy to be say
that's what we called mujahadah.

I'm weak,
then find those people who can makes you stronger
and closer to Allah
find a right friend,a right spouse

I'm still at the stage

who are still thinking about what PEOPLE will say

instead of what ALLAH would say

Astaghfirullahalazim..

I found it

One night,the night that led me to the awesomeness. I was surfing internet,facebook to be more specifically. and I saw a link entitled "Nation Builders: Stories of the prophets" organized by al maghrib and qabeelat ihsaan. In the clumsiness because it was the last night for the early bird's price, i paid the fee. I felt Allah really want me to go there because He knew how I always want to know more about the prophets and of course to bring me closer to Him. Shaykh Riad,my mualim,my teacher. He is right. I don't have a choice either to love him or to love him. His energy,his method of teaching,subhanallah! From that day, i'll not leave this institute. The teacher,the enviroment,new friends are all adorable. I can feel the islamic brotherhood there. Shaykh is right,once I understand the stories of the prophets,i'll understand the Quran more. It soo true. Now,I can relate it. I miss the course. I really miss it. angd i'll go for the next course,insyallah. I already found it,i always want to study about my religion because Im still using my standard 6 knowledge about Islam. I even forgot most of the islamic history,the war,the prophets. Now,i already found the place,i'll never
leave it by the will of Allah.

Pic courtesy of Qabeelat Ihsaan

Tissue paper

It comes and goes.
It'll come back when i wake up from my dreaming,from my false aim.
Every time it comes, it slaps me harder.
Thin as the tissue paper, easily get wet,can be tear.
one day..
i'll protect it.
Pray for me and my tissue paper.

As time running...

 I'm getting older. Entering the new age,new environment. As we grow, we'll face variety of problems,conflicts. I remember my boss said to me "Throw yourself in hardship, then you'll learn".
Thanks for the advice. I'll remember it. Be brave, face it, find the solution. Insyaallah, with the help from Him, it'll be just fine. Just spotted one quotes from a magazine, "Jagalah Allah, Allah akan jaga kamu". Remember that!

OFFICIALLY GRADUATED

Alhamdulillah. Because of Allah, now Im an officially IIUM graduates after 6 years struggling and playing with the books. Thank You Allah because you placed me in the superb university. Never felt regret when I got the offer to study there. Thank You Allah to show me what usrah is. I miss the surrounding, environments, my friends, my lecturers.Thank You Allah for giving me a very supportive and loving parents and siblings.  Yesterday, for the last time I sang IIUM song. It slaps me. WE'RE THE KHALIFAH, WE'LL FULFILL THE AMANAH.

Food for your heart

For those who want to be a better person..
Islamic: A moment to remember with Oki and Wardina (part 1)
Islamic : A moment to remember with Oki and Wardina (part 2)

Santapan rohani yang kian gersang

        Last Sunday, my family and I went to Masjid Al-Azim, Pandan Indah since the mosque organised a program entitled " Syaaban dihati Ramadhan dinanti". The program start since the saturday morning until midnight. We arrived there around 9 am. After having breakfast, we start participate in the program. Basically, the organizer invited speakers such as Ustaz Roslan, Dr. Rubiyah Kulop, Imam Muda Asyraf, Ustaz Zamri, Ustaz Ismail Kamus, and last but not least Ustaz Azhar Idrus.

        So, here I summarised what I'd learned from this 1 day program. However, I did not fully participate in the program because after Zohor, we had other things to do and we came back to the mosque during magrib.

Speaker : Dr. Rubiah Kulop (Admire her so much)

• Pastikan kalimah syahadah itu bukan hanya di bibir tapi biar mengalir dalam darah sampai ke organ.
• Setiap kali kita melakukan sesuatu atau setiap kali bangun tidur, ingat dan sebut dan masukkan dalam jiwa " Aku hamba Allah, pengikut Rasulullah".
• Maka, setiap yang kita lakukan hanya untuk Nya. 
• Ibu bapa kena didik anak2 supaya kalimah syahadah ini teguh dalam diri anak2. 

Speaker : Imam Muda Asyraf dan seorang lagi ustaz (terlupa namanya)

• Title: Perkahwinan di usia muda
• Nak dapat yang soleh, jadilah solehah and vice versa kerana Allah dah berjanji wanita yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik.
• Bersangka baiklah kepada Allah. Rezeki itu datang dari Allah.
• Allah mengangkat orang yang bertaqwa dan berilmu. Maka, carilah ilmu selagi jantung berdenyut.
• Tips untuk wanita: lelaki yang berisiko ialah lelaki yang mengajak anda berbuat "ringan2"

Speaker : Ustaz Ismail Kamus

• Jangan persiakan nikmat Islam yang Allah berikan.
• Jangan kedekut. Jangan dipandang nikmat itu tapi pandang pada siapa yang memberi nikmat iyu.
• Kalau dapat nikmat, bersyukur dan agih-agihkan
• Kalau tak dapat, bersabar.
• Manusia itu sifatnya terburu-buru, tergesa-gesa. Semuanya nak cepat. Solat nak cepat, gaji nak cepat, mati nak lambat.
• Sentiasa anggap diri hina dari orang lain. Anggap diri kurang ilmu dan amal.
• Orang yang berilmu membersihkan jiwa, akal dan hatinya.
• Allah benci pada orang yang fasik, orang yang kedekut, dan orang yang sombong.
• Allah sayang orang yang beramal,bertambah sayang sekiranya orang yang beramal itu adalah orang muda.
• Allah sayang orang yang pemurah, lebih2 lagi orang yang miskin tatapi pemurah.
• Lima perkara yang dapat melepaskan dari siksaan kubur : solat 5 waktu,wirid, baca Al-Quran dan sedekah.
• Kosongkan hati dari sifat mazmumah dan isikan nya dengan sifat mahmudah.
• Buatlah ibadah walau sekecil zarah pun kerana kita tidak tahu ibdah mana yang mendapat keredhaan Allah
• Solat malam 1000x pahala dari solat siang.
• Kurangkan tidur . 
• Amalkan: Baca surah Al Mulk dan As sajdah before tidur, baca bismillah 21x sebelum tidur untuk elak kecurian dan kebakaran, Baca Al Ikhlas 11x esok paginya untuk elakkan perbuatan sia-sia.

Speaker : UAI

• Peraturan Allah lebih tinggi dari segala peraturan.
• Hiduplah mengikut syariat Islam.

Wallahualam.Semoga program-program begini dapat diadakan lagi. sokong lah kerajaan Selangor. Ahaks!

Sekembalinya Beliau

Assalamualaikum. 

So eager to write until I dont know how should I start. Lets start with kepulangan ayahanda dari umrah nya.

 I think and I feel that umrah beliau adalah umrah yang mabrur. Masuk je kereta di KLIA, sampai lah ke rumah. Tak henti-henti dia suruh anak-anak dan menantunya and of coz cucu kesayangan " Waktu muda-muda ada tenaga ni pergi lah", katanya. Betapa seronoknya yang tak dapat digambarkan. Hati menjadi sayu, menangis saje kat sana. sambung nya lagi. Kalau sebelum ni, beliau cepat melenting waktu jalan jem , tapi dekat sana tak de nak marah-marah orang amek tempat kita. Sifat tenang itu kekal sehingga dia pulang ke malaysia. Ya Allah, sampaikan lah aku ke sana. Rindunya pada Rasulullah,ingin sekali menziarah makamnya. Moga diberi kelapangan dan kesempatan untuk ke sana. Amin. Tapi pesan abah, buatlah persiapan secukupnya, kalau dari sini tak biasa berzikir, tak biasa pergi jemaah kat masjid,tak biasa buat solat sunat. Mungkin payah nak mempraktikkan bila sampai di sana. dan niat mesti betul. Kerana setiap amalan dikira berdasarkan niat kita. Kalau niat pergi umrah sebab nak shopping, nak riak kat orang lain, baik toksah pi la mokcik,pokcik.huhu. One day, I'll go there. One day. Insyaallah.

Malu

Besarnya rahmat Allah kepada hambanya.

 Bersyukur tak terhingga atas rezeki yang diberi. 

Dalam sedar, trying to look behind the present that He gave to me. 

Alhamdulillah. Masih teringat tentang DIA.

 Ya, rezeki yang ku terima ini dari Nya iaitu Ya Razak,pemberi rezeki.

 Malunya diri ini mengenangkan dosa-dosa yang dilakukan tapi Dia masih mengasihi ku,

 memberi aku seribu satu kebahagiaan,kenikmatan. 

Berkali-kali mengingatkan diri yang mudah lupa ini, 

bergantunglah pada Nya sahaja, bukan pada manusia.

 Waktu susah merayu-rayu meminta bantuan dari Nya,

 waktu senang kau jarang sekali mengingati Nya,

Ingat lah ayat ini wahai diri,

Katakanlah (Muhammad) " Terangkanlah kepadaku jika Allah mencabut pendengaran dan penglihatan  serta menutup hatimu,siapakah tuhan selain Allah yang kuasa mengembalikannya kepadamu?"..(Al-An'am;46)

Thank You Allah

Rezeki datang tersembam

How should I start.huhu. It happens too fast, unpredictable and betul la, kita merancang sahaja, yang menentukan itu Allah. I got a job which I was accidentally went to the interview. and Insyaallah, I'll start my working life the end of this month. Memang kalau rezeki tu dah ditetapkan untuk kita, memang kita akan dapat. During my student life, I planned to chill2, relax2 dulu then maybe after raya baru searching for the job. When I got this offer,excited, dilemma and everything la. Since I satisfied with the location and the status of the company. Here we go, I accepted the offer. Maybe I'm the earliest who started to work among my classmates. Dulu I thought I'll be the last since I want rehat2 dulu. That's only a plan, what will happen later on, we've no idea. However, insyallah, everything will runs smoothly I hope. I've to wait for the result first. Hopefully, I'll pass the written exam. Berdebar nya. Berdebar jugak nak start this new episode. working life. I'm a big girl now. rasa baru je habis tadika.haha. (denial stage). May Allah help me throughout my life. Till we meet again =)

Istiqamah

Yesterday went to talk,er..not talk,usrah maybe.it was accidentally happened. My friends and I thought it is a talk initially. Regardless accidentally or not, Thank you to Allah had open my heart to go there,sit and listen and insyallah practice it. amin. The usrah entitled "I want to change". of coz, changing to be a better muslimah. the usrah is only for the girls =) There are some new stories that I never heard before, I'll write it on other post k. boleh cerita-cerita dengan anak-anak. dengan anak buah. The most important thing is how to be istiqamah after we make changes? Be a Jannah obsession. always think about Jannah. This world is a prison for the mukmin because we always need to mujahadah,fighting with our own nafs. That's why it is not easy to be the one of the member of Jannah. The other tips how to stay istiqamah is always remember about death.Some tips to change is sometimes we need to stay away from those friends you think they might give negative  influence to you. Find the right friends,if you want to be solehah,find the solehah one. It's good to have a friend who will 'basuh,berus' you.  Selamat bermujahadah. 

fairy world

Some lessons from Konvensyen Bidadari Dunia :

Pic courtesy from FB konvensyen biadadari dunia

• Empat orang wanita yang paling highclass disisi Allah:

1. Asiah (isteri kepada Firaun,ibu angkat kepada Nabi Musa)
2. Mariam (Ibu Nabi Isa, anak saudara Zakaria)
3. Khadijah ( isteri Rasulullah)
4. Fatimah( puteri bongsu Rasulullah dan Khadijah)

*Main lessons:Each of them love Allah more than anything.

• Enam sebab perlu taat suami :

1. Perintah Allah (surah An nisa;34)
2. Kedudukan suami sebagai pemimpin
3. Kewajipan isteri
4. Mendapat Pahala - "Segelas air untuk suami bersamaan pahal puasa sunat setahun" (sila buat 3 jug everyday =) hehe)
5. Memburu keredhaan Allah -" Mana-mana wanita yang meninggal dunia dengan redha suaminya,masuklah ia ke syurga"
6. Jauh dari azab neraka

• Lima golongan manusia yang segera memasuki syurga ; (open your tafsir,al imran ;133-135)
• Doa melembutkan hati - Asy- Syura; 42:19 ( applicable also for anak2 yang degil,suami,adik beradik yang degil)
• Tips untuk bahagia : Before you sleep, forgive others
• 3 cinta yang buat bahagia:

view from PICC

1. Cinta kepada Allah dan Rasul
2. Cinta kepada manusia kerana Allah
3. Benci kepada apa yang dibenci oleh Allah

• Qoutes : 
• " If we feel complete, we don't have to show off"
• FIKIRAN menentukan EMOSI melahirkan TINDAKAN membuahkan HASIL 
• Dunia dalaman saya menentukan dunia luaran saya
• You only get what you give
• Tomorrow is a better day
• Bersyukur untuk bahagia
• Great livers are great givers
• Fashion is what you are comfortable with.
• Menghijabkan hati itu lebih payah 
• Tudung is more than image

Last but not least : " Apabila kita tinggalkan yang haram, Allah gantikan yang lebih baik buat kita" 

Cafe Chinta

Here, some of things that I learned last night from forum entitled Cafe Cinta. Speakers;a very very super romantic husband and wife; Dr. Farhan Hadi and Ustazah Fatimah Syarha. =)

•  saya tidak memuji cinta sebelum berkahwin, kerana ia bahaya dan boleh mengundang syahwat (Prof Syeikh Yusof Al-Qardawi)

• Tak bercinta sebelum kahwin >> tiada maksiat hati, perbuatan >> dapat menjaga KEBERKATAN selepas perkahwinan >> melahirkan perasaan MAwardah, Sakinah dan Kasih Sayang sesama pasangan.

•  Virus dosa ada 4 tahap:

1. Sedih dengan dosa
2. Biasa dengan dosa
3. Lazat dengan dosa
4. Pembela kepada dosa (the most critical,dangerous level) eg:" Dulu we all kapel jugak, after kahwin bahagia jer" 

• Langkah mencari jodoh:

 Persiapkan diri -solehkan diri dulu sebab remember Allah said, perempuan yang baik untuk laki yang baik

 and vice versa. How? go and learn.attend majlis2 ilmu,dengar tazkirah beribu2 kali and practice it. Always

 aim to be better muslim. for instance; learn how to be khusyu', try to do tahajjud at least once a week.

• Analogy anjing dan tulang :

 Seorang lelaki memegang tulang di tangannya dan dikelilingi oleh anjing2. ke mana sahaja lelaki itu pergi,

 

anjing2 itu akan ikut untuk mendapatkan tulang tersebut. Sama juga seperti selagi kita berpegang kepada 

sesuatu yang haram, selagi itu syaitan akan terus menjerumuskan kita. Moral of the story : Let it go, Dont let

 your nafs control you because it'll be like a door for the syaitan.

• For those yang sudah terlanjur berkapel, quarantine yourself and your partner. Stop all the things

 (dating,sms,gayut2). Prepare yourself first. Go and learn. Remember, marriage is just a tool to get

 nearer to Allah. because our main aim is to get Love from ALLah.

• -Two words from Dr. Farhan:

1. Mujahadah : Mujahadah melawan nafsu, baru lah dapat rasa kemanisannya nanti =) always said "aku berlindung dengan Allah"
2. Karisma : Upgrade kualiti/jati diri sendiri dengan menjauhi perkara sia-sia and jauhi pembaziran. 

• -Last words from Ustazah Fatimah Syarha :

 Put Your trust in Allah. Allah sayang hambanya melebihi sayang seorang ibu kepada anaknya. That's why 

He gives us guideline for us to be safe dunia and akhirah. Yang haram itu sedikit sahaja, so bertahan lah 

kerana yang halal itu sangat2 luas nikmatnya.

Open my eyes

First time in my life. kereta berpusing. did not scream at all. remain silent. tergamam. Alhamdulilah, we are safe. Along the journey, I keep praying give me time Allah. tak henti2 minta ampun. and the next subuh, I was praying. and realize how seldom I say thank you to Allah. We never know when our life will end.

Nabi Muhammad s.aw. told us :"Orang yang paling pandai adalah mereka yang sering berfikir mengenai mati, dan melakukan apa saja di dunia ini dengan baik dan amanah kerana mereka tahu hidup ini cuma sementara dan akan menuai hasil di Syurga nanti"

I chosen to be there. Alhamdulilah

Alhamdulilah when I got the chance to attend the most beneficial convention " Konvensyen Bidadari Dunia". It is so unbelievable I can make it and Allah give me that opportunity. I arrived at my house on friday evening and bertungkus lumus menyiapkan kerja because I need to submit on that day. So, the next morning (saturday) my mom and I went to konvensyen bidadari dunia. We leaved our house at 7am.bengkak lagi mata masa tu, tak cukup tidur plus baru2 nak demam. dugaan. So, to make it short, we were there (PICC) from 7am until 10pm. same goes to the nextday (Sunday). Too many things I learned. everytime I felt tired, I'll say this is ibadah. It's so good to feel that you are learning to get close to Allah and Islam from am to pm. You'll only think about HIM. nothing else. The speakers was so superb, may Allah bless them. and the best thing is most of the speaker will pray that all of us who attend this convention will be not only bidadari dunia but ketua bidadari di syurga.Amin3x. The most unforgettable memory is when I get the opportunity to hug my super inspirational sister, wardina safiyyah and sponatneously I said I love you so much :) yes, I do. hehe.
p/s: will be continue later about all the things I learned.

How to be happy?

Why we become a blogger? Every blogger has their own reason. Some may want to treat their blog as a diary. Some may just love to write and to be read. For me, my blog is a reminder for me. Struggling to be a better person, I need a reminder. and here why I am blogging.

Last few days, I attend a talk. The panelists were awesome. Imam Muda Asyraf, Prof Wan Maseri and Sister Syazwani. So much knowledge and reminder I got from it. One of it is, when Prof Wan Maseri said if you think having a good job, big income and good position can makes you happy in your future. You are wrong. If you think once you got married and having a spouse can makes you happy, you are wrong again.

She is 40+ years old now. Of course she know better than me about this life thing. She had experienced how people backstabbing her just because want to be promoted. At one point in the marriage,she got a test from Allah.

Thus, what can makes you happy? when you put Allah in your heart, only Allah. And put others than Allah in your hand.

"Sesungguhnya hati itu hanya untuk Allah" Prof Madya Wan Maseri.

She did that. Allah clean her heart and now only Allah in her heart. Job, income  and husband are now in her hand. Some tips to be share, learn about the names of Allah(Asma ul Husna) and practice it. She wrote a book entitled "Atas Namamu Aku Merintih". I wish I'll be like her one day. Amin.

The best thing when you put only Allah in your heart, He never leaves you. Your spouse, your job may leave you and that will be hurt if you gets too attached with those thing. Protect our heart. You will be happy dunya akhirat. Insyaallah.

Moral of the story, put Allah first in your heart then you will experienced this, "Apabila kau lari dari dunia, dunia akan mengejarmu". She experienced this. Masya Allah. and now her husband loves her 10x than before! The power of Allah. Subhanallah.

Wassalam