mixed feeling

Hai blog.
Counting days for my wedding.
Something bothering me.
Baba.
Recently,his forgetfulness become more obvious.
Lastweek,he forgot where he put his atm card.
He thinks maybe he left at the atm machine.
Today,he left the bag which contain the invitation card at my aunt's house.
Yes,i know.baba's brain is shrinking,thats what doctor said.
May allah protect him.

Wedding.
No comment.
May this marriage bring me closer to HIM.
May my love for HIM is more than anyone else
More than anything.

the roller coaster

in the theme park
while watching the roller coaster
it goes up and down
people screaming here and there

it shows something to me
our life is like the roller coaster
sometimes we're on top
people adore us
we become so proud of ourselves
we feel so good

and at that time
we start to have a big gap with our creator
we forgot
we seldom remember Him

because of His love.
His mercy
now,we're in calamity
we're desperately need help from Him
we getting closer to Him
Our creator never leaves us alone
we're the one who running away from Him



Allah has mentioned in the Quran, Surah Al-Insyirah:
“Verily, with hardship, there is relief  (94:6)”

its dunya

IF 

status 

 power

money

beauty

intelligence

 will make me away from you Allah

i'll choose to be an ordinary women in this dunya

its better no one knows me

rather than arrogance consume me

please buy this book

 thank you Allah for invited me for this two awesome event.

you never leave me

im the one who run away from you

He made me to went there

it feels like, 

now here the guidance,the nur for you

 يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي على دينك

Wahai Dzat yang membolak-balikkan hati, tetapkanlah hatiku atas agama-Mu"

p/s : just bought the book reclaim your heart by sister yasmin mogahed, really touch my heart.

hurry up,go and grab it

you can also give to your parents,family and friends as a present.

it teach us how to live freely by being a slave to ALLAH.

Masya Allah.

Envy

Envy
Jealousy
There're negative words
but
it can lead to positive manner
IF
the intention is sincere and clean.

For instance,
I get envy and jealous with
those who have strong iman
great taqwa
they can beat the syaitan most of the time

I knew if i ask them
they'll say, we're not perfect
our iman can be up and down like the roller coster

I conclude that
to be like them,only Allah in their heart
Allah comes first
It's not easy to do,but easy to be say
that's what we called mujahadah.

I'm weak,
then find those people who can makes you stronger
and closer to Allah
find a right friend,a right spouse

I'm still at the stage

who are still thinking about what PEOPLE will say

instead of what ALLAH would say

Astaghfirullahalazim..

I found it

One night,the night that led me to the awesomeness. I was surfing internet,facebook to be more specifically. and I saw a link entitled "Nation Builders: Stories of the prophets" organized by al maghrib and qabeelat ihsaan. In the clumsiness because it was the last night for the early bird's price, i paid the fee. I felt Allah really want me to go there because He knew how I always want to know more about the prophets and of course to bring me closer to Him. Shaykh Riad,my mualim,my teacher. He is right. I don't have a choice either to love him or to love him. His energy,his method of teaching,subhanallah! From that day, i'll not leave this institute. The teacher,the enviroment,new friends are all adorable. I can feel the islamic brotherhood there. Shaykh is right,once I understand the stories of the prophets,i'll understand the Quran more. It soo true. Now,I can relate it. I miss the course. I really miss it. angd i'll go for the next course,insyallah. I already found it,i always want to study about my religion because Im still using my standard 6 knowledge about Islam. I even forgot most of the islamic history,the war,the prophets. Now,i already found the place,i'll never
leave it by the will of Allah.

Pic courtesy of Qabeelat Ihsaan

Tissue paper

It comes and goes.
It'll come back when i wake up from my dreaming,from my false aim.
Every time it comes, it slaps me harder.
Thin as the tissue paper, easily get wet,can be tear.
one day..
i'll protect it.
Pray for me and my tissue paper.